Monday, May 28, 2012

Weeping For Jordan


It's Sunday evening, and I am sitting on my couch near the kitchen with the ingredients I brought from the store still in bags. I stopped by the grocery around 1pm after leaving Intensive Care where Jordan, Gwen, and their family were saying goodbye to their five year old baby girl, Keesha. She has been kept alive the past 24 hours on a respirator after suffering a horrible accident on Saturday evening. Her hair is still in neat cornrows with shiny clear beads that look like tiny prisms. This morning, we offered prayers and anointed her with oil. The family wept and held onto each other as Psalms 139 and 23 were read.  I left as they continued to grieve this precious child who was pronounced dead at 2:57pm, May 27th. Sometimes when I leave a deathbed, I feel compelled to bake something and present it as an offering. It's like a silent ritual that has become a way to work out my grief. But today, when I got home with the ingredients, Jordan called to say that even though her baby girl died, she is still on a ventilator for another day so that Keesha’s organs can be donated. Jordan's call made me take to the couch. It feels like I want to raise a white flag and wave it and say, I surrender. Jordan is an orphan from Brazil who has described, in her own words, that she lived through times where she was treated "worse than a dog." A couple from the United States adopted her when she was 9, but she was on the streets by the time she was 16.  When she got pregnant at 19, she called the baby "her light." She got clean and sober and never prostituted or did drugs again. She and her sweet daughter share the same birthday. They are exactly 20 years apart.

When I left the hospital, Jordan was draped over the bed -- too exhausted to grieve standing up. And now, she is offering all the child's organs to others in need. It is an act of generosity and bravery beyond anything I have seen.  I know she knows about loss and pain. I know she knows about how love heals. It makes me weep to imagine her lifting her head off the bed and saying, "Yes, you can take my precious child's heart."  Not tear up, weep. It makes me want to be grateful for everything and love everyone with gentleness. It makes me want to take a wide turn around theology and stay close to the ground. I want to get back up, but first I want to weep a bit longer at the enormous task we have been given: to love one another. All our prayers are with Jordan and Gwen and their families.

Keesha, you are a light.



Peace and love, 
Thistle Farmer

15 comments:

  1. I am so...very...very...sorry... my heart is aching and I am sending prayers....

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  2. Prayers and tears for ALL concerned. Such power in this act of generosity speaks to ALl of us on so many levels. maybe the depth of pain can only be appreciated by the recepients of Jordan's gift. Please pass on this poem -
    Death leaves a heartache no-one can heal
    Love leaves a memory no-one can steal
    I heard it on the news when a grieving mother gave this poem on a silicone bracelet to the reporter after her daughter's murderer was found guilty. I do not knwn the origins but so true for so many.

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  3. My heart aches for Jordan and the family!! I never knew this type of love until I birthed my very own little angel and I can not imagine the pain she is feeling, O how I wish I could take it all away and bring that sweet little angel back. She will definitely be a light to us ALL!! Enjoy the times you have with loved ones because you NEVER know when God will call us home!! Comforting prayers for Jordan as well as the rest of the family!!

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  4. my heart aches and tears flow as i read your words becca. no wise words, praying for all.

    julie+

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  5. Loving prayers are sent to your community. The greatest acts of love reap a world of tears from the depths of the heart.

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  6. So very sorry for the loss if such an angel. God bless all of you!

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  7. Rev.Paula SandersMay 28, 2012 at 9:53 PM

    I will continue to pray for you and your women.

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  8. So, so sorry for Jordan. I can't imagine her anguish. Such a terrible loss. My heart aches for her. What a beautiful gift she is giving to many others who receive Keesha's organs. My prayers tonight are for Jordan and her sweet angel Keesha, Becca, and for all those who are touched by this, for God's loving mercy, comfort and peace.

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  9. My GOD JORDON, you will forever have my respect, to think about other babies in need when you have lost your own for ever, im soooooooooo PROUD of you, and GOD and your keesha will always be here in your presents,,,,,,,,THANKS FOR BEING SO LOVABLE AND ...........BRAVE!!!!!!!!!!............PEACE..

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  10. There are no words, only tears and prayers from the heart.

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  11. I kept a huge lump in my throat all during the service yesterday, after hearing the news of Keesha's accident. Some things hit you harder than others, but this one really went straight to my heart... had to have a good cry walking to my car. I cannot imagine such loss. Jordan and her family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  12. After reading all I can do is weep and share this story with my daughters. I can not begin to imagine the heaviness of the heart, Jordan must be feeling. Our family is praying for peace and understanding. Love, The Jackson Family

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  13. Heart breaking. I will pray for Jordan.

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  14. I'm so sorry to hear this news, and my heart goes out to Jordan and her family. Sending love to the whole Thistle Farms community this week. xo.

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  15. Jeanne Campbelle KennedyMay 30, 2012 at 7:44 PM

    I can't imagine the pain & love Jordan is going through & to be totally honest, have no desire. Keesha is definitely one of God's precious angels. I wrap my arms around you Jordan, keep strong!! Peace of the Lord be with you always!!! Much love.
    Jeanne Campbelle Kennedy & Family

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